Thriving This Valentine’s Day

Don't have a man to buy you flowers? Buy them for yourself!

Can I keep it real for a minute? I always despised Valentine’s Day. No, it’s not because I’m single. I always found Valentine’s Day to be a consumeristic holiday. Only one day, throughout the year, you suddenly over-shower your significant other (usually the man giving gifts to the woman in exchange for some play) with “love” through material things. I used to see girls in my high school compete for who had the most balloons from Dollar Tree. I’m not joking. What if you survived most of cuffing season and you’re still single? Do you moan and groan? Do you cry over some wine?

Tip #1: It's Okay to Feel Lonely

Sometimes, I feel when singles express their loneliness (usually to married or taken couples), they are hit with the usual quote: “It’ll come when you least expect it.” Can I say this? To my married (or taken) folks out here…. stop saying this to single people. It invalidates their feelings. Remember, you were single, and lonely, at one point, too. Instead, why not send some encouragement to your single friends and tell them it’s okay to feel lonely?

Photo credit from wau.org

I think we’re uncomfortable expressing and seeing someone else in their feelings, so we try to remove them as much as possible. For my single ladies, please feel your emotions and have an honest conversation with God. Why I say not to do this is because Jesus has felt lonely, just like us. He was vulnerable about His feelings to the Lord.

Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, “Sit here while I go over there and pray.” 37He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled. 38 Then he said to them, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.”

39 Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.”

40 Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. “Couldn’t you men keep watch with me for one hour?” he asked Peter. 41 “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

42 He went away a second time and prayed, “My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.” (Matthew 26:36-42) NIV

Jesus taught us a perfect example on how to express your feelings and feel them. God knows what’s in your heart. Why not talk to Him about it? Jesus also showed us something else—notice in His dark, vulnerable moment, He had the right support system. This goes into my second point.

Tip #2: Have the Right Support System

If you want to thrive this Valentine’s Day (and your singlehood journey), you need a healthy support system. Your support system needs to be people who will listen to you, let you express how you feel, pray over you, and give you truthful, but loving encouragement. Notice: Jesus didn’t take all of His disciples to the Garden of Gethsemane with Him. Not everyone is going to be right for you during this time.

Tip #3: Seek Fellowship

I’m hosting a dinner this Valentine's Day for a new friend. She just moved to Dallas. It’s her first time living on her own, away from her family. I decided to be friends with her and invited her over for a nice dinner. I’m also baking cake. The key thing is that we’re not meant to be alone. Seek fellowship with other singles. There’s plenty of single friends that are dying to have some type of company. Why not provide it? You may end up hosting a DIY spa day at your place, brunch, dinner, or desserts. Open your home to those in need.

Tip #4: Solo Date

The last tip is an obvious, yet scary one: go on a solo date. You may be new to this concept, but I highly encourage anyone (men and women) to take themselves somewhere. I’ve taken myself to simple places such as a new ice cream shop to traveling abroad on my own. Doing something on your own requires a lot of courage and strength. Many people will discourage you from trying something new on your own, but how will you learn who you are by following others? Something I want to try is going to Medieval Times. I know that my friends will not join me. It's not something they’re interested in. So, am I going to not go? Nope. I’m taking myself. If you need solo date ideas, I’m sharing some with you below.

Always stick to your budget!

1.     Treat yourself to a dinner

2.     Go fishing

3.     Book a staycation at a nice hotel

4.     Use ResortPass for a pool day

5.     Visit a farmer’s market

6.     Pick, or create, a bouquet of flowers

7.     Painting and sip classes

8.     Dance classes

9.     Marital arts classes

10.  Visit a museum on free days

11.  Visit an art exhibit

12.  Play video games

13.  Go to a nice lounge to unwind

14.  Be a tourist in your city

15.  Watch movies online (TubiTV has free movies)

Do you have any more you’d like to add to my list? Do you have tips to thrive this Valentine’s Day? Let me know in the comments. Keep things positive and true.

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